2. storge - Family love. We don't love Aunt Minnie because of her eros (physical attraction), but because she is our Aunt Minnie, a part of our family, even though she is blind, deaf, and senile. storge appears 3 times in the NT, twice in its negative form (astorge - "without family love"), and once combined with phila ("be devoted"). A mother who has her baby and throws it in the trash can is showing astorge. I storge a Christian because he/she is a member of my spiritual family. But what if said Christian renounces Christianity? Could I still love him/her if storge was the only form of love I had?
3. phila - Friendship love. It is warm feelings and affection. It is liking someone. The weakness of this love is that in order to show it, it has to be shared. Your phila for me is damaged if I don't show phila for you. I call the weakness of phila "bowling partner" love: "I love you if you keep bowling strikes, but start throwing gutter balls and I'll find a new bowling partner." Many couples make this the main love in their marriage, and the marriage doesn't survive the gutter balls of life. I phila my friends, I have feelings for them, but that isn't enough to truly love them, especially if they don't show affection to me.
4. agape - A desire to do what is best for the one who is being loved. This Greek word is rarely used in other Greek writings and used in a colorless way. The New Testament gives agape a wonderful new meaning. This is the word used as love in John 3:16 and 1 Corinthians 13. In 1 Corinthians 13, it says that "love bears all things." The Greek word for bear can also mean "cover," as in agape throwing a cover of silence over the faults of others. Agape does involve a desire, but doesn't depend of affection received from another in order to exist. I can even agape my enemies, I can desire what is best for them. Agape is an act of the will. I truly agape people, and I will do what is best for them, even if they had no eros, storge, phila, or agape for me.
Did God send His Son because he eros us? No, that involves more passion than love, and there was nothing physically attractive about us.
Did He do it because he storge us? No, that's too narrow in scope, only dealing with kinship loyalty, and we renounced our relationship to God through our sin.
Did God do it out of phila? No, because while it involves closeness and affection, it only involves those near and dear. We weren't near and dear friends to God, we were sinners. If God showed phila, He couldn't have included everybody.
God DID show agape because God had a desire to do what is best for us.
Another example of the kinds of love is the parable of the Good Samaritan.
The Samaritan had no physical attraction for the wounded Jew. (eros).
The Jews and Samaritans were groups that hated each other, so there was no family love (storge).
The Samaritan was a not a friend with anything to share, so there was no philia.
So what motivated the Samaritan to help the wounded Jew? The Samaritan saw a fellow human being and had a desire to do what is best for him. So the Samaritan said, "Therefore I will love him." That's agape.
Eros - Based on the glands. "I love you because I am attracted to you."
Storge - based on genetic ties. "I'm love you because we are kin to each other"
Phila - based on emotions. "I really like you, I love you because I enjoy being with you."
Agape - based on a decision, an act of the will. "I love you", not "I love you if....", not "I love you because....", just simply "I love you".
To live life to the fullest, we need all of the 4 kinds of love. But agape is the basis of our relationship with God, the happy and lasting and God-pleasing marriage, a happy and God-pleasing home, and the secret of lasting human relationships.
How do you "love"?
"Love",
David